Sunday, October 17, 2010

Oy Vey!!

Okay so it's been a long time coming. I apologize again for my nineteenth unexcused sabbatical from blogging. Things came up (college midterms, work, a long tumble down an escalator) which resulted in me being away from my little pet project here. I hope you can find it somewhere in your hearts to forgive me. I fell down that damn up-escalator for like 45 minutes. My pride is damaged enough.

I got a couple emails from people asking for me to allow them to follow my blog. I'm aware that in my last site update I somehow lost the subscription feed. I'm going to spend some time renovating the blog a little bit to make some of the features and posts more accessible. It's a process and I'm very technically challenged when it comes to these things so just bear with me. The lightbulb wasn't developed in 15 minutes. It took Al Gore a lot longer to do that since he was busy creating the internet. I know my history!!

The Michigan gubernatorial election is almost here. I can hardly wait until it's over. The closer November creeps into our foresight the more bizarre the campaign ads get. I've had enough of watching incredulously as campaign commercial after campaign commercial rapes my mind. I could seriously scream...but that would take too much effort.

Virg & Rick had their debate. Apparently a lot of viewers were impressed and inspired (or so that is what WXYZ 's polls said) by the "intellectually stimulating" banter between the Ann Arbor nerd and the Virgin Berry. Personally, I made it about three minutes in before my eyes imploded. In his opening remarks, Rick Snyder (which was definitely the "objective" mediators prized ham if you catch my drift) pulled a John Kerry, and told the viewers to go to his website to read about his plan.


Alright I'm okay. My blood pressure stabilized.

Despite my ocular blow out I stayed tuned in. I wanted to know what there was for public television to waste donations on broadcasting this spectacle over say "This Old House" reruns dubbed in Yiddish. To this day I'm pissed I didn't spend that night learning how to install a gutter from an ol lerer on "Dos Alt Hoyz"...OY VEY!

The only valuable part of this hour long "great debate" (a euphemism used by MI media for "Assholes Bitching ") involved a brief discussion between the two candidates about the Michigan business tax. For like three minutes, if that, both candidates offered clear strategies on reforming (or eliminating) the ridiculous tax that is the centerfold of our economic blunders in this state. Of course, WXYZ could only do what any reasonable informative media outlet could do--move on to real pressing issues like gay marriage and abortion. Let's face it. Michigan was a great state. Then the gays started getting married in Massachusetts and our economy here just took a dump in shock.

The first 10 minutes Snyder & Bernero bickered about of all things...Gateway and how Snyder outsourced jobs to evil China. In his retort, Bernero said that while he was "standing up for autoworkers jobs" Snyder was outsourcing Gateway jobs to China. "Where were you to stand up for the auto industry?"

Where were you to stand up for the auto industry? I'm sorry. I could be totally wrong but didn't you just say that he was working for Gateway. Last time I checked Virg, Gateway didn't build cars. Snyder was not a politician. Why wasn't he standing up for auto industry jobs? Probably because it wasn't in his job criteria. He was a business man who was doing what was financially in the best interests for Gateway. Outsourcing IT jobs is nothing new. I don't know if Mr. Bernero has ever had to call tech support (doubtful) but they're never usually located in the US. In fact you're lucky if they speak English. Scratch that--you're lucky if they speak human.

I'm no fan of Snyder but the ignorance of these class warfare arm-warriors is getting old fast. Well...but...but Wall Street is ruining the working class. I got news for you people. Without evil greedy Wall Street there is NO working class. It's pretty hard to pay the working class when business isn't making money. No money. No jobs. No jobs. No income. No income. You screwed.

The debate could be basically summed up as the following...

Mediator: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah?
Snyder: Blah blah blah blah Gateway blah blah blah 10 point plan blah blah blah my website blah blah blah simply not true ha ha.
Bernero: RAWR RAWR RAWR corporate fat cats RAWR RAWR RAWR wall street RAWR RAWR RAWR greed RAWR RAWR rich people screwing the little guy RAWR RAWR RAWRRRR!!!

In one hour I was given a vision of Michigan's future--a big closed sign. I'm hoping to be out of dodge in three to four years. If they pass the Constitutional Convention bill; two years tops.


NASA is still on orders to protect us from radical Islamic space aliens. If you forgot, the White House has encouraged NASA to focus primarily on re-educating and reminding Islamic nations to feel good about their historic contributions to science. Anxious, senile, and creaky Buzz Aldrin says we should go back to the moon. Obama says there's no point since we've been there. I have a plan that'll satisfy both parties. I say we should send both Buzz Aldrin and President Obama to the moon and leave them there. Congress & Lansing can follow as well.

MTV recently had a special on ending exploitation. To show how serious they are about their causes they promise to avoid programming that avoids media and sexual exploitation of women & children...except for Teen Mom, Jersey Shore, Real World, Teen Mom, The Challenge, When I Was Seventeen, My Super Sweet Sixteen, and every other program that airs on MTV.

Family Guy featured Rush Limbaugh on their show. It bombed and wasn't funny at all.

MSNBC's new brand campaign of "LEAN FORWARD" has everybody except MSNBC looking sideways. The advertisement for their re-branding is just as bizarre. Apparently if you throw a bunch of obscure stock footage of amusement parks, car wrecks, a baby, gay marriage, a shuttle launching, and than add a voice-over talking about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness--you'll end up with very confused viewers (all 10 of them). Personally I feel that MSNBC would be better off with a slogan along the lines of...

MSNBC: Alienating The Audience We Don't Have...One Person At A Time
MSNBC: Because You're Out There...Somewhere...Hopefully
MSNBC: We Have A Lesbian With Her Own Show Too
MSNBC: Buying Chris Matthews Drinks Since 1999

Considering the rare astronomical chance that this re-branding actually works out for MSNBC; I've decided to change my slogan from:

A Kup of Reality: "Laugh, Live, Learn"


A Kup of Reality: "You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out, you put your right foot in, and you shake it all about."

Just to be on the safe side. I mean you've got to be innovative and original in this world!

Until next time,

That's what it's all about!


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