Monday, May 17, 2010

The Deep End And How Far Off I've Gone

This post contains adult language because the author has lost his cool. The following post takes place between insanity and a badass named Diego.

For starts let me just describe how lucky a handful of people in my life are that murder is illegal. Believe me over the past couple days I've highly weighed the pros and cons to going to prison for a long time just in case I couldn't get away with making it look like an accident... Ya'll are lucky. Sooooo lucky.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm banging my head into the wall over and over and over again. Whatever I do, however I do it, whenever, wherever, for whatever reason, something happens to just ruin my day/week/month/year. The funny pharm has been bustling. BOOMING. It hasn't been this consistently nuts in the three years that I've worked there; all holidays included.


So why am I surprised when corporate, in their infinite wisdom, pulls the biggest dick of a move they possibly could? Rather than increasing help hours to ensure that our pharmacy can efficiently keep up with the increasing demand, they do the complete opposite. For the last week it has been like a fucking bomb went off in the middle of the pharmacy. Staying extra late every night to try and support the pharmacist is not my idea of happy working conditions and I'm not saying simply to tie up loose ends and clean. It took me to closing time to have most of the order stickered and checked in. MOST does not equal ALL. Two people working in a pharmacy that is averaging 160 scripts with 200 register transactions (YES 200 SPREAD OUT register transactions) DOES NOT ENSURE A MOTHERFUCKING EFFICIENT PHARMACY!!!

I can't even begin to attempt the logic that went into our hours getting cut. Therefore I can only assume what the evidence tells me and conclude that no logic went into it at all. Instead of a beancounter analyzing sales figures and store profitability; I imagine that the logistics room at headquarters looks something like the above picture...

Hopefully one day these brainiacs will realize that "maximizing their profits" by cutting staff isn't going to keep people coming into their stores for very long. Shitty service equals closed doors. I'd love to see them jacking off to those numbers without customers...Yeah better buy lots of lube. Maybe I could ring you up for it at the pharmacy if I weren't too busy doing three people's jobs at once?

Of course the increase in business and decrease in support wouldn't be mind bludgeoning enough without the surplus of fucking mental midgets walking through the doors with coupons. How difficult is it to put your zip code into the machine? How difficult is it to slide your own fucking credit card? HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO KNOW WHETHER YOU HAVE A CREDIT OR DEBIT CARD???!!!

"Credit or debit?"
"I'm charging a card!"

Maybe corporate is shopping? Yeah I said it. The joke writes itself.

This past week's highlights included:

  • Almost breaking my hand opening a bottle of Asacol; the Area 51 of Colitis medication bottles. By the time I got the thing open I almost needed to be on it. I think I shat myself about three times and had a stroke...
  • A woman informing me how easy my job is and how it will soon be occupied by a robot. Always a great first impression especially for someone thrilled as me to be working there this of all weeks.
  • 19 people who couldn't correctly put in their zip codes today alone. I had a tally going. Nine-Fucking-Teen
  • An argument over who labeled a bottle of Prevacid and my inability to give a shit.
  • A man who is convinced that the pharmacy staff is psychic.
  • A technician convinced that the man is actually convinced that I'm a psychic.
  • A drunk in desperate need of Viagra.
  • A woman in desperate need of a free supply of Soma & Metoprolol Succinate ER just to hold her over to her appointment somewhere in the vicinity of the next fucking solar/pluto/lunar/terrestrial alignment.
But because my family loves the stupid so much we decided to invite them to our own home for a garage sale. Let me tell you nothing attracts the living dead like a sub sale. I don't think any of these folks survived their childhoods.

But wait there is more.

No absolute Cluster-F of a week would be complete without those couple people in your personal life that somehow think that this is still high school. Those spotlight sluts so attention deprived that they have to stir up fights and turmoil just so they can throw themselves into the center of attention. All I have to say is I lost a lot of respect for a lot of people this week. A lowlife takes many shapes and forms but the attitude is always the same. Those of you who live for yourselves and your own personal vanity should have no problem fucking yourselves so I'll wish you that kind of activity. I'm sure you're familiar with it.

However I do have a very random cool thing to add to my post today. I've recently discovered and purchased the album Scream by Chris Cornell. People have been hating on this record but I personally love it. Sure it's Timbaland produced and its not going to appeal to the diehard Soundgarden/Audioslave/grunge fans but if you have an open mind and real love for all kinds of music I think you'll dig it. It's been a real mood lightener for me this week and its getting plenty of plays this week.

In the words of Chris Cornell...

"That bitch ain't a part of me...No that bitch ain't a part of me."

Until next time...

Peace and Love


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