Saturday, February 11, 2012

Anybody Thought of a Guard Rail? Threesome News

*Fanfare* Once again I bring to you an exciting new edition of "Joe Does The News". We start with a story of a Haverhill resident's 50 year long plight of playing human Frogger in his family's own home.

1.)Boston Resident Deals With Fifth Car Crash Into Home

After which crash do you think the idea of putting up a wall around his house popped into this dude's head? 1st? 3rd? Maybe the next time? I don't really know. What I do know is that if a car crashed into my home once-I'd be seriously thinking about paying a visit to the local landscaping company for some boulders. I can only imagine how this guy is going to have to try and explain this to his insurance company. "Oh by the way a car plowed through my living room...AGAIN."

My verdict: Sell the house. Move into an apartment off the ground level preferably far away from airports.

2.) Ron Paul To Take Maine?

My verdict: No but maybe. Probably not...maybe. Does it even matter? I need a drink.

One thing that I can proudly say is that I was ahead of the curve when it came to calling Ron Paul out for what he really is. Early in the season people were rallying around Ron Paul seeming to forget how far out in Dennis Kucinich la-la-land he was in the 2008 Republican primary. Ron Paul has always been dingy on foreign policy. Consistent, but nonetheless dingy. So when it comes down to Maine, a considerably left-leaning big government state, supposedly embracing "libertarian" ideals-I've got to call shenanigans. They might embrace liberal non-interventionist "stick our heads in the dirt" Neville Chamberlain-esque Ron Paul. They're not going to be crazy about the do away with government programs, the Federal Reserve, the Department of Energy, and everything under the sun Ron Paul.

Well his supporters will. They'd be crazy about Ron Paul if he considered a new career in porn. In fact they'd maul any one who would dare to say it wouldn't be the hottest porn ever to hit the interwebs.

Mitt Romney is the key front-runner in the state and if anybody in the Republican field can appeal to the liberal wishy-washy "do as I say not as I do" New England states-it's Mittens. So I have a feeling Maine will go strongly in favor of everybody's favorite pro-flip flop establishment candidate. I could be wrong but either way it doesn't matter. Ron Paul won't be President. I'd hope he'd settle for treasurer.

3.) Kid Rock "Made in Detroit" Shirts are Wait for It...Not Made in Detroit

Now look we all have our opinions on the city of Detroit. Here in the mitten state most of us have pride in our community. Some have a blind pride. Others like me have pride but know that the problems in Detroit can't be solved unless they're fixed in Detroit. Kid has done more for SE Michigan than Susan Tompor or anybody from our local news media will ever probably be able to do their whole lives. You hear that Clint Eastwood? Yeah shut up.

Do I think the "Made in Detroit" shirts being made outside of the US is sketchy? No. I can't blame the Kid for doing something that our own US government made profitable via NAFTA. In fact not only did they make doing business outside of the US profitable; they made it detrimental to not cut costs by shipping jobs overseas. If anything has destroyed our manufacturing and production in this country--it's our own policies.

What Susan Tompor and the other ambush journalists of our supposed "free press" failed to realize is that "Made in Detroit" does not mean the shirt was made in Detroit. It pays homage to the individualism and pride that one takes living as a Detroiter and to restore esteem in hometown pride. Kid has also stated that he hopes to open an installment here in Detroit and create jobs. The only assumption of the t-shirts currently being made in Detroit was on Tompor. Not on anybody else. Nobody was fooled but her.

I wonder if Tompor was as outraged about the fact that the Clint Eastwood "It's not an Obama re-election ad but it appears to be one and sounds like one" Detroit Ad wasn't filmed in Detroit.

Verdict: Kidddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd


-Joe

















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