Sunday, March 13, 2011

Rant Rant Rant Rant Sneeze

It’s Sunday which is supposed to be a day of rest. In my case it’s a day of bedrest because I AM SICK FOR THE FIFTH TIME THIS WINTER!! This winter has sucked on levels that are quite high…large…err I don’t know what to word to use because I CAN’T FRICKEN THINK!! Sigh…

Anyways yesterday I woke up with no voice. Thinking it was merely laryngitis I went on with my day which was quite lazy because I figured that there would be no point to overstrain myself or go out anywhere without a voice. I had my voice back around midnight had some orange juice and went to bed only to wake up today around 2 or 3 o’clock in the afternoon feeling like I had just been dropped on my head by a UFO.

Today the cold has gone full bloom--which is convenient because I plan to have a two hour drive to Mt. Pleasant ahead of me tomorrow. Ask me what the chances of me going are now? Better yet, don’t ask me because I might just break something. Since my Dad is retired and my Mom is getting more time off it seems we’ve been frequenting family trips to casinos lately. Being in Michigan the last two times we wanted to go the weather decided to take a turn for the worst. This time the weather has been quite mild but I had to get sick. I know exactly how I got sick as well. The freaking germ bags that I encounter on a daily basis at work.

Last week was a pretty mild week at work resulting in me finishing a lot of week earlier than I normally do. Unfortunately the hazard here of finishing everything you need to do in the pharmacy makes you the one that has the duty to run and greet everyone at the counter. Well on Friday I was greeted by one particular patient who felt the need to sneeze with no arm or hand coverage right into my face. There was a moment of silence where my face was just like frozen in shock mode ( 8 O ) which was followed by me grabbing the nearest hand sanitizer bottle and dousing my face with it. No I’m just kidding. I lit the thing on fire and tossed it at the bitch’s head. Again wishful thinking. I went on silently to ring the bastard her amoxicillin and then went into the pharmacy knowing that in two days I would be in bed…dying.

Here I am 48 hours later…in bed…dying.

Now I’m thinking that there was a higher purpose to blogging about this rather than just to wallow in my own self misery…however I can’t think of it at the moment because I just took two severe cold tablets (Generic Sudafed HAHA for the win) and in the words of the great ZZ Top, “My mind is gone.” It doesn’t make you drowsy…it just fucks you up more than Charlie Sheen in a NYC hotel room.

What irked me about Esmerelda the germ queen back at work was not that she sneezed directly in my face. It’s that she sneezed in my face without saying “sorry” or “whoops” or “drop dead” or “go fuck yourself” or “I hate your blog“ or anything. Then I rang her up for Z-pack and then she continued on her way without saying “thank you” or “drop dead” or “go fuck yourself” or “I hate your blog” or anything at that point either. Not only did the bitch give me a cold (at the start of my Spring Break nonetheless) she acted like I was completely subservient to her. I could go into a deep ideological and sophisticated deliberation on how screwed up society has become that we allow people to get away with that in the “name of keeping good customer relations” (aka as the customer taking a dump, whiz, and stab at the working person all at the same time with the reassurance that they will not be held remotely accountable for their actions)--but Claritan for the win!! Did I say that earlier in this post? I can’t remember.

God bless Sudeeefed.

Peace and some stuff…


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